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AlbertJayNock

TOILET

OK, this post is about my toilet. The squeamish may leave and it won't hurt my feelings.

My toilet was badly clogged yesterday. I'm pretty sure I know why. I had temporarily run out of my usual toilet paper, and had started using some Charmin I hadn't used in a while.

The reason I hadn't used the Charmin in a while had to do with the last time my toilet was clogged. I called Roto-Rooter, and the guy they sent told me the problem was the Charmin, which is unusually thick, and therefore very slow to dissolve. He told me if I put some Charmin and some regular toilet paper in glasses of water, after an hour I would see a big difference. I am going to try that someday, especially if I ever get a camera phone. Anyway, the modern low-flush toilets just can't handle much Charmin without clogging.

And because of my negligence, my toilet was clogged again. I tried the plumber snake I'd purchased a while back. No luck. Then a plunger. Nothing. I went to the den and sat down and fumed for a while. It looked like I would have to call roto-rooter, which would break up my day and cost me money. I went back into the bathroom and most of the ummm.....contents had gone the drain. Things looked promising. I tried flushing again.

Bad idea. It was still clogged. So I tried the snake again, again with no results. Then I tried the plunger. *SCHLOOP*. I'm not sure what the exact onomatopoeia for a toilet unclogging is. It was like Ross Perot's giant sucking sound, but in this case it was not the sound of jobs going to Mexico. It was the sound of my toilet announcing to the world "Babydoc3 has plumbing skills!".

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