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AlbertJayNock

Poetry Reading After-Action Report 6/14/2012

There was a decent turnout at the poetry reading last night. There were a couple of people I hadn't seen in a while. One of them was Jim, who used to be a regular until he moved to Korea to teach. Another was Lise, who doesn't make it very often because she lives really far away (though not in Korea...it's just a long drive for her.)

Jim read an absolutely scintillating poem about a girl he met in Japan. Lise read three poems. The first was a dialogue between a man and a woman and the second was an account of a stripper's life. Both were excellent, but the second was more impressive because it's a subject that it would be very easy to write badly about. The third was about her son. She lost him to a murderer, and last night was the anniversary. It was a fairly angry poem. I told her afterwards that I actually found the angry tone refreshing. Sometimes people are too quick to move to Kumbaya mode in the aftermath of a violent crime. If the victim is a loved one, you owe it to that person to have anger towards the perp.

I had six haiku. I'd originally written five , but at the last minute I wrote one for Frank Cady. Cady  played general store manager Sam Drucker on Green Acres and Petticoat Junction. The haiku are below. (Note that the titles have links to information about the deceased.)




Bob Welch

You were here and warm
But your fans all looked away
And now you are gone


Richard Dawson

Sitcom prisoner
Or a game show host? Let's see
What the survey says.

Ray Bradbury

You created worlds
And though they're on paper, fire
Cannot destroy them

Donna Summer
I should praise your voice
But can't help noting you were
Hot stuff. Hot hot stuff

Doc Watson

He won't be playing
For us anymore. He has
Gone to be with Merle

Frank Cady

Hooterville's bereft
Of food and other supplies
Drucker's store is closed







I tend to be dissatisfied with a lot of my haiku. I'm strict about the syllable count, but that only means they can properly be called haiku. Really good haiku follow the syllable count and have one thought per line. Most of my haiku, including the ones above, don't meet that requirement. After the reading, I rewrote the Bradbury haiku to bring it a little closer to meeting that standard. Here's the revised haiku:


You created worlds
And though they were on paper
Fire can't destroy them




It's a small change, but I'm happier with the line breaks.





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