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This is outrageous

Someone has been tearing down the Ira Yarmolenko murder fliers posted in Mount Holly. In the story I linked it's strongly suggested that it is the killer. However, I heard from a fairly reliable source that it was an over-zealous city official. I'm not sure that accounts for all of them.

But there's another incident in the story that is far worse and a lot less amenable to an innocent explanation. Somebody desecrated her grave.
I can barely type those words without wanting to put my fist through the monitor. It's the most infuriating thing I've heard of since the murder itself. Her mother had planted flowers there and some evil depraved rat bastard dug them up and took them away. It's hard to think of anything worse than doing something like that to a bereaved family. Especially when the family includes parents who are grieving a child. I don't know if it was the killer who did this, but if it wasn't it was someone who is  just as bad.

This has been the most unpleasant entry for me to make since I started this blog. Even when I blogged about Ira's death, the process was sweetened by memories of Ira. This one though, is just about ugliness and sickness.

But I feel like I have to make this entry. I used to think I was overdoing it with the entries, and that maybe I should listen to those stupid cliches "move on" and "get over it". But I've decided those cliches are truly stupid, and that until Ira's killer is caught, it is not time to move on. And even though my blog is not widely read,entries about her will give the case a teeny tiny bit more exposure that might be helpful.


I would never have known about this if you hadn't written about it. So, you are accomplishing the goal of creating more exposure. That's good. As for getting over it, that's definitely not going to happen any time soon. I think it's good you're writing about it. It's your journal. You can write about what you want. And it's your life. You get to choose what you care about and this issue is very important to you. I say keep writing until the issue is resolved for you or until the pain starts to be more and more tolerable.

Honestly I think one of the hardest things to determine in life is how to live by one's own standards. It's so easy to see how other people choose to live and govern their lives, and sometimes you can get caught up in that. You're not doing that. YOu're being very assertive about what is important to you. I think that's highly commendable.
Thanks for your very kind words of encouragement, and just for letting me know you read my blog.

Grief is such an odd thing. I was talking to another friend of Ira's the other day and she said that the emotional pain is just now hitting her. People don't talk about her much at Jackson's Java anymore, but sometimes I suspect it's because everyone assumes that nobody else wants to talk about her. (And let me be clear...not talking is perfectly fine if that's the best way for you to deal with something.)

I guess I just need to remember some wise words a friend said to me once "If you can just get over everything, that means that nothing really matters."

Again, thank you.