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Writer's Block: Over-the-Top Metaphors

Detective stories are stereotypically full of over-the-top metaphors: "The villain's hand stroked the cat the way his sins stroked his black soul. His voice, rough as the city's nighttime streets and twice as terrifying, barked orders to his lackeys. They scattered like parents who just realized they forgot to pick up a child from school." Write a short scene using some of your own extreme metaphors and similes.
Sam Hammer was eating lunch at his desk,  covering his french fries with ketchup like a victims blood covers the wall at a crime scene.

A young woman in a  dress the color of the New York skyline at night after the 1965 blackout walked through the door.Even though she was sexy enough to make warm butter hard, Hammer was as irritated at having his lunch interrupted as a husband on Superbowl Sunday whose wife wants to talk about drapes.  "What do you want?" he asked as curtly and impatiently as a sleep-deprived DMV worker.

As she told her tale of woe, he listened with the boredom and impatience of a ten-year-old boy attending a performance of "A Chorus Line".


That butter metaphor is full of win.
After looking up "full of win" in the urban dictionary, I give you my hearty thanks. :)